Diaries from the Quarantine - VI and The Fear of What Is to Come

It seems we are now entering a new phase of our fight against the COVID - 19. 

The government and the task force, called to work on which measures and steps should be adopted to lead the country out of the crisis, called it "Phase 2". 

As the country jokingly says, it's like Phase 1, but with short sleeves and more mosquitos around.

It seems we will be allowed to queue out of more shops than we used to, and those of us living closeby their relatives and partners are allowed to visit them. So, for those of us - like me - who live far away from their family and at the moment don't have a partner, nothing changes. Thanks a lot, romance-normative and family-based society. Even though, considering that in the task force the only representatives of social sciences and humanities were, out of 17 members, only a social psychologist and a sociologist, I am not surprised they chose solutions that would fit 1960s' Italian society but not the 2020s' real country, and that they disposed the re-opening of many more industries, firms and offices without considering what families with young children will do, since kindergardens and schools are still closed. 

We are very perplexed and amused by this decision they took, as it would be incredibly easy to pretend you are visiting your partner or relative when actually going visiting friends and such. It is of course down to our own sense of responsibility that we don't, and we keep social isolating from most people. It is true though that the Italian social tissue is made by so much more than just families tied by marriage, and the psychological wellbeing of people is running on thin ice after two months of (almost) complete isolation. Life needs friends and fun and distractions to be fully enjoyed, even in the midst of a global catastrophe. No one wanted to go out and forget about the virus, of course not; we are all aware we will need to keep the distances and not be too affectionate as we usually are, but it is time we start living with the virus instead of avoiding it by staying home forever. 

So, in a week we will be able to start doing different activities, seeing different people if we want to, maybe have a good meal from our favourite restaurant again (take away will be allowed). It is what we have been waiting for since early March, but a new, unexpected feeling is starting to spread around: fear of what is to come. 

We got used to staying home, feeling relatively safe in here, to make sacrifices; some of us have been enjoying a more relaxed lifestyle, even though the challenges of working from home, being constantly with one's own family (or apart from them) and so on were tough to overcome. Now life starts again, what was put on hold by the emergency can resume. 

The first, natural fear is that we are too hasty to resume an almost-regular life and we will have to close everything off again. The government already said that they will be monitoring the new COVID cases and, in case they find a new "red zone", they will immediately seal their boards off; but, of course, the fear remains - there are still too many deaths per day, too many new infected every day. And other countries' experiences are now showing that re-opening too quickly can only lead in a new increase of cases, and we cannot afford new peaks, not in areas of the country that have been safe so far.

And then there is the fear of the unknown. This period of forced inactivity meant, for many, a huge economic loss, or even unemployment; not all couples survived self-isolating together, and some did not do well apart; students are still unsure of what will happen to them, when universities and schools reopen, what their exams will be like. For everyone, no matter young or old, single or taken, employed or unemployed, the 4th of May will be a new beginning. 

I, for one, have now to decide once again which direction I want my life to take. The emergency deprived me of a job I had just moved in a new city for, and now I have to reconsider my expectations and wishes for the future. I am not alone in this as many young (and not so young) people were left stranded in this situation, with no certainties or guarantees given by anyone - and some are facing this while also going through their parents or elderly relatives' sickness or, at times, death by the virus.

It is scary to see freedom and a return to some kind or ordinary life in the foreseeable future. Our old struggles will surface again, now that the extraordinary issues are slowly moving out of sight.

Life will be as it used to be and at the same time it will never be the same again. Who knows what "Phase 2" will bring.

I hope in the future that will come there will be less smog over our cities and this view will be even more breathtaking.
Picture taken on the top of Palazzo della Regione in Milan, December 2019