The Quarantine Diaries VII - Step after step

Since last Monday, in Italy we have been living in what we call "Phase 2". 

We are enjoying our re-found freedom, walking in parks, getting a take-away meal from a bar or a restaurant, meeting up with friends and relatives. 

Some of us - and I put myself in this group - are afraid this is just a break and soon we will be back to full-quarantine mode, or at least some parts of the country will. Others are more optimistic and are fully enjoying this new "Phase", sometimes recklessly. 

Despite I could be meeting up with other people now, I am still refraining myself from doing it. I am aware I am way too careful and I should probably do something different from what I have been doing in the past two months, but I am a bit afraid I am not used to being with people anymore. 

I mean, I was somewhat of an introvert, not-very-social person before and this situation simply heightned my natural traits; but I think living through a pandemic, on some levels, awakens your natural instincts and we start being aware and even afraid of other people, in a self-protecting mode. I don't know how I would feel walking into a room full of other people and dining with them; I am not sure if I can handle a live conversation that has more than three components. I am also extremely scared that most of the population in this country does not share these feelings with me and they are all partying away the quarantine so we will find ourselves back home soon again. (I am exaggerating this part; everyone I know is  being very careful in following common sense and avoiding risky situations).

This morning, for the first time in months, I had to get up early as I had an errand to run. I dressed up, put some make up on and left the house as many others who were reaching their work place. I did what I had to do and on my way back I stopped at a bar and drank my first espresso since March. 

(I, of course, had coffee during this quarantine - I wouldn't have survived it if I didn't -, but, like any other Italian would confirm, an espresso from a bar has a completely different taste and feeling, and the ritual itself of walking into a bar and ordering one is one of the small things I miss the most). 

These gestures, that would be so common in a daily life that takes place in "normal" times, were extra-ordinary today. Walking into a bar was familiar yet strange, as I had to get my coffee in a polyestere cup and leave immediately so that someone else could stand in my place. 

I miss so many, little things from our pre-corona life: wearing a cute dress, doing my hair, choosing the best earrings to go with my outfit; dancing away the night in the Summer, exploring a new city, sitting down drinking an aperitivo with some friends; watching a new movie at the cinema, being annoyed because the metro is taking long and it is crowded; having a coffee break at work, taking a walk during the lunch break, talking about anything and everything with a friend without the virus being always at the back of our mind. 

I miss talking with people from years ago and people who only recently entered my life; I miss all the potential friends and experiences I could have had during these months; I miss being bored on Saturday night because we always go to the same place and drink the same things and talk about the usual stuff.  

At the same time, and I know this is a common feeling, I am also afraid for this weird, surreal moment in our collective history to end. I am afraid that when this is over all the past issues I had will come back, I am afraid people will not have learnt anything from this situation, I am afraid what we considered day-by-day life will never come back - and it is likely it won't for a while, you know. Maybe this is not bad, though - this slow-paced life gained a lot of followers and it is improving our physical and mental health. 

We are standing on the edge between these two spheres, the life-from-before and the life-that-will-be. I wonder whether we will realize when we cross the threshold to this new world or not. 

  

Cows enjoying freedom much more than we do in a park in central Rome